We all know about Valentine’s day, Feb. 14th, the day of love. Valentine’s Day is a day you typically enjoy with your partner: you go out on a date, and get each other flowers, stuffed animals, chocolate boxes, or jewelry. It’s a holiday where you express your love through multiple love languages, primarily gift giving and quality time. This romantic holiday originated in Rome from ancient Roman fertility rituals, and Christians attempting to honor St. Valentine, a priest who married soldiers in secret even though it was banned to do so. Though the origins of Valentine’s day start with romance between lovers, as you should know, things are constantly evolving.
In a world that revolves around and romanticizes relationships, Valentine’s Day for single people can be described as salt in a deep wound. As soon as you’re born, people expect you to one day get married, have kids, and have a white picket fence kind of life. Additionally, in high school, you may find there is pressure from your peers to start dating as well. A frequently used phrase when referring to your future or current partner is “your other half,” implying that you by yourself are not whole without another person. Typically, you’ll see people avoiding romance because of fear of rejection, not being able to find the right person, or maybe just simple rebellion. You’ll also see single people hating on couples out of envy. On TikTok whenever you see couple content, you’ll also see people hating on them or displaying jealousy, an example being that meme of Eminem but edited to make him throw a brick at the happy couple instead.
Is being single bad? No. Of course, the idea of being with someone who prioritizes you and loves you is appealing, but it is not worth putting your life on hold for. High school can be hectic between schoolwork, home life, and extracurriculars, so why stress yourself out about something that in reality matters so little? Relationships demand commitment, time, money, and more. We so often romanticize relationships into something they’re not. The perceived notion is that a relationship will give you everything you need, things like companionship, popularity and gifts. I will say from personal experience that relationships do not magically solve all your problems, and one thing I’ve learned is that the person you choose to date is the most important factor, one that determines everything. Though dating is not crucial, if you do choose to date, make sure it’s someone you actually like and someone that will be good for you. You are the one that will live with your choices, and you do not owe anyone anything. You must know what you need out of life, from yourself and from the people around you. You are never going to be complete if you are relying on someone else to fulfill you.
At this age, we need to focus on ourselves, not in a selfish way but in a way that will help us grow and learn. Plus, Valentine’s Day can be unnecessarily expensive. If you do end up getting yourself a valentine, I suggest focusing on quality time over gifts because it is ridiculous to spend a large sum of money on things that are going to rot, be eaten, etc. I am not saying dating or buying things for your significant other is meaningless. However, do not make it your life’s mission, or the thing that fills your mind consistently. Have all the crushes you want but don’t make it your whole personality, and do not let this day make you feel bad about yourself. Spend the day with friends, family, and with people you love. Valentine’s Day does not have to be a day you dread or a day spent envying others. Don’t be a grouch. Do not poison yourself and the people around you; instead, make it a day where you cherish those you love, platonic or not. Friends are for life; lots of things can trouble a relationship but friends will be with you through thick and thin, so don’t take their companionship for granted and make it a day worth living.
