Starting April 1, all Mills High School hallways will feature brand new slow walker lanes designed to reduce hallway congestion and help students get to class more efficiently. The lanes, marked with hot pink lines and bedazzled pedestrian signs, will give slower walkers their own space and help diffuse crowded hallways. Say goodbye to hallway traffic, pushing, and inconsistent walking paces. The new lanes, in all their glory, are expected to make passing periods smoother for everyone.
The school decided to add slow walker lanes because hallway traffic has gotten out of control, and slow and fast walkers have practically become enemies. Students are fed up with having to share narrow hallways with people who have very different priorities about where they need to be and how quickly they need to get there.
On one hand, fast walkers sprint from class to class trying to be efficient. And on the other hand, slower walkers prefer to stroll along. Whether it’s scrolling through TikTok, meeting up with friends or gossiping about the latest drama, slow walkers are always the biggest contributors to hallways traffic. This is happening all while dozens of students are crammed into an already overly crowded hallway.
As Tray Roy (10), certified slow walker, said, “Honestly, I’ve had it with these fast walkers pushing me in the halls. School is not that serious, dude. They lowkey need to chill.”
But fast walkers feel just as strongly. Ariana Duke (12) said, “Honestly, I don’t care who I have to push out of my way to get where I need to be. These slow walkers desperately need their own lanes, and I couldn’t be happier about this grand news.”
Fast walker Julia Front (10) agreed, saying, “Slow walkers are so annoying and I literally can’t stand them. I’m counting down the days until the lane is installed!”
However, not everyone thinks the new system will solve the problem. Some students have already admitted they might ignore the rules. Miles Mora (10) said in a recent interview, “I literally couldn’t care less about the lanes because why would I let some pink lines on the floor tell me where I should be walking? The only good thing about it is that I’ll get to mess around in them and piss people off.”
Even among slower walkers, opinions are ultimately more divided than ever before. Student Ayah Delulu (12) disagrees with the rush to class entirely. “Honestly, I don’t understand why people rush in the hallways. We have more than enough time to get to class and not enough time to scroll through TikTok and laugh with friends,” he said.
Despite the extreme controversy, school administrators, such as Dean Tim Christian, believe the new system could bring peace to our infamous hallways. “I think we need to be thoughtful and therapeutic for all the different kinds of walkers that we have here at school,” he mentioned. So starting on April first, you slow walkers better stay in your lane!
