Ask the Editor!

Madyson Tang and Madison Sneed

March 25, 2026

Dear Editor,

So there’s this guy who I had a really intense talking stage with a couple of months ago, and I think he’s giving me hints. There was an Instagram story I posted in 2023, and he liked it at 12:39 a.m.! I meannnn, I think it’s a sign he still has feelings for me. What do you think?!

Sincerely,

Bubba the Bear

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Dear Bubba the Bear,

So after research and talking to some people, I have come to the conclusion that he might still have some feelings for you. Butttt girl, do not risk it all on a man, that is not cute, ok? There are (hopefully) much better fish in the sea than some crusty, dusty high school boy. You’re also probably out of his league (and yes, I’m being a hater).

Sincerely,

The Editor

Dear Editor,

I have been hyperfixating on “The Twilight Saga” for months now, and I know most people loveeee Edward, but my book boyfriend is Jacob, not Edward. I need to know if people agree with me that Jacob is better, so who do The Thunderbolt staff love more?

Sincerely,

Leo the Lucky Lion

Dear Leo the Lucky Lion,

Listen, I have bad news for you. I went around to all the staff and asked for their opinion, and here are the results. We got one anti-Bella vote, 13 that haven’t watched, and, DRUMROLL PLEASE… Edward wins with seven supporters!!! Jacob got three votes, sorry pookie. Even Pretto voted for Edward with the reasoning that “Edward sparkles like a diamond, and he runs fast. Like a ‘Looney Tunes’ … Wile E. Coyote!”

Sincerely,

The Editor

Dear Editor,

I love the Thunderbolt’s Instagram account and all your reels. I was just curious on who runs the account because my friends and I have a bet going on. My bet is on Benson Boone but you never know!

Sincerely,

Musical Monkey

Dear Musical Monkey,

Thanks for all the love on our Instagram account! As you know, we have been filming reels a lot lately. And guess who comes up with all the ideas: our very own adviser, Pretto! Pretto is actually the one who forced us to film them. I know right, it’s so annoying for the editors. Nice try though!

Sincerely,

The Editor

Dear Editor,

So, asking for a friend, okay? I’m not a teacher! My friend keeps getting ragebaited okay, like the kids are randomly yelling and saying the most unhinged things. What is some advice you have for my dear friend?

Sincerely,

Professor Poppy

Dear Professor Poppy,

Honestly, the children in this generation are doomed; just pack up your bags and quit teaching. I will give you three reasons why: 1) Teachers are incredibly underpaid, 2) I can’t imagine lesson plans are fun to make, 3) Gen Z and Gen Alpha are scary.

Sincerely,

The Editor

Dear Editor,

I am so cooked for my Algebra 2 test like you don’t understand. I had to use my savior ChatGPT to do all my assignments but now, I’m done for and I need to lock in. Like bro I’m literally about to crash out. Help..?

Sincerely,

Emerald Emily

Dear Emerald Emily,

Girl, I’m so sorry to say this but you’re not cooked, you’re fried. The best chance you have at passing is just to go home and scroll on The Thunderbolt’s Instagram account till you fall asleep. When you have arisen from your beauty sleep, head over to every teacher’s opp and ask AI to come take the test for you so you can ace it! Good luck, Emerald Emily!

Sincerely,

The Editor

Dear Editor,

There’s this really cute huzz in my biology class and I can’t stop thinking about her. I want her so bad, but she’s way out of my league since I am a chopped oily chud. I’ll take any tips I can get.

Sincerely,

Slippery Sammy

Dear Slippery Sammy,

Since you can’t pull her with your looks, let’s try a different tactic! First off, always drown yourself in cologne due to your oily smell from P.E. (she will love it)! Next, try sitting at her table in biology to sing her a beautifully written song expressing your feelings to her EVERY class – she will fall for you, don’t you worry! Lastly, bring her the biggest bouquet of flowers you can find, preferably a batch that won’t fit in her locker, of course! You will for sure pull that girl now, even if you’re a little oily.

Sincerely,

The Editor

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About the Contributors

Madyson Tang, Entertainment Editor

Madyson Tang is a sophomore and is in her second year in The Thunderbolt. She is currently the Entertainment Editor excited to take on a new role in journalism. With her experience from last year, she is ready to help guide and support the new staff writers. She is ready to expand her writing skills, interview new people, and create layouts. In her freetime, Madyson enjoys hanging out with family and friends, traveling, and playing tennis. This year will also be her second year on the Mills Girls Tennis Team. She enjoys watching many shows including How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and The Summer I Turned Pretty. She hopes that this 25-26 school year will be a successful one for The Thunderbolt!

Madison Sneed, Staff Writer

Madison is a freshman and a staff writer. This is her first year in journalism, and she is excited to spread information about current events and keep people informed. Also to see how a newspaper works, and how to write a proper article. She joined the class because she has always been interested in writing, and it seemed like the most interesting elective to choose. She has a background in writing short stories, ranging from horror to retellings of fairy tales. When she isn’t at school, she loves to read all sorts of books, junk journaling, and collect vinyl records from her favorite artists, like Taylor Swift, Gracie Abrams, Harry Styles, and the 60s–70s music style.